My steed raced through the moonlit woods at a fantastic speed. The steam from his hot breath flowed out of his nostrils as he ran. The faster he ran, the more frightened I became. Whatever scared my horse was quickly following after us. I could only see its silhouette during brief intervals between the trees. The moon was much brighter now. I could somewhat make out what appeared to be a shadowy figure bobbing and weaving around the trees. Darkness slowly engulfed my steed and I. His breathing became an echo. My blood turned to icy water. I heard a low distant growling, almost like a person screaming but with wolf-like qualities. The darkness turned to fire. The fire became so intense that my icy blood boiled. Suddenly, my horse stopped, throwing me off in the process. I landed in front of a very old wooden bridge that crossed a dark river. I tried to stand up, but a siring pain shot up my leg and I collapsed under the pressure. It was then I noticed that the river was indeed dark, but not from the shadow. The water flowed black with a reddish hue. My horse softly trotted toward me and nuzzled my neck. I used the reins to lift my body into the saddle. The horse galloped toward the mouth of the bridge. As soon as I crossed the threshold, I heard a bone-chilling scream, much like a woman screaming in agony. I looked behind me noticed two glowing red eyes staring back at me. The scarlet eyes rose to the level of my eyes. Even though they were several feet away, I could still feel hot breath on the side of my face. The farther I traveled on the bridge, the farther away the eyes became. By the time I reached the end, the eyes had disappeared. Moonlight illuminated my path once again. I continued on the lonesome path for hours, until I reached a warm and comfortable looking tavern. I tied my horse to the post and went inside. I was welcomed with a roaring fire and eager ears.
"At least that was the way he told it" said Tom.
"Your right, I remember that night, he walked in and was pale as a ghost" exclaimed an old man in the corner near the fire.
"Yes, but what was your reaction to the tale" asked Reverend Richards?
"Well, it wouldn't be the first time we heard a story like that" said Tom.
"Really?"
"Yep, but that was the first account we ever had, most of those stories are second hand."
"You don't believe any of it, do you?"
"Of course not, those woods aren't any dangerous then this spider" Tom said as he crushed a small spider crawling on the bar.
"So you would travel in the woods at night?"
"God bless me no, they call that place Devil's Bridge for a reason."
"But you just told me..."
"I don't care just don't travel in those woods at night!"
"Well, I guess I'll take your opinion on it."
"See that you do, Reverend, God can't protect you in there."
"Well, with that I must retire for the evening gentlemen but I will see you tomorrow at breakfast."
"G'night, Reverend." Reverend Richards rose from his stool and descended the stairs. As he climbed he could hear the sound of laughter emanating from the bar below. Unlocking his door, he stepped into his faintly lit room. He changed into his night clothes and stepped into bed. With great huff of air, the candle was blown out. Darkness engulfed the room, as the Reverend fell into an uneasy sleep.
Good. I also appreciate not resorting to starting every sentance with "I" when you're in the first person perspective. Some grammar issues though, and "searing pain" was the phrase you were looking for once the man was flung from his horse.
ReplyDeleteAlso, explain the qualities you mention when you say "wolflike qualities." No need to leave the reader grasping when you can fill in the blanks.
Keep it up! Be even better if the tale was simply to get another person to stay the night and so increase their bill.